Distance, dysfunction, difficult jobs — there are many reasons why families grow apart. However, most of the time, the main reason as to why family members fall apart is because they stop being a family.
Whatever the circumstance, plenty of families remain close. They still make it a point to make time for each other, no matter how far or rare they see one another. After all, without family, everything in our lives could ultimately crumble into pieces.
Reasons why families fall apart
One of the most common reasons why families grow apart is distance. Children become adults, high school students apply for distant universities, and so forth. This is a turning point among any families, which if not carefully handled, could mean growing not only physically apart but also emotionally.
Another common reason is divorce. Once the parents decide to separate, certain arrangements are made that drive everyone away from each other. The children may be divided, which then puts an eternal strain in the relationship.
Death of a family member is another factor to growing apart. Some may not be able to handle the loss that they drift apart unknowingly. Other families end up broken when the death is accompanied by anger, guilt and blame.
Staying together despite everything
The good news is there are ways to remain close as a family. Despite all the reasons you can’t always be physically together, here’s how you can stay as a united family — through thick and thin.
- Schedule holidays well in advance
Remaining close as a family means making time and exerting that extra effort. One of the best ways is to schedule breaks with them well in advance.
Whether it’s a family outing or going back home to visit the parents, it’s always great to plan it out as early as possible. Doing so prevents delays or cancellations. If you’re working far from your loved ones, scheduling in advance could help you file that leave effectively and surely. Furthermore, planning one gives everyone something to look forward to.
- Make holidays a positive experience
It would be a waste of time and energy when a family holiday ends up sour. That’s why each member should look at these moments with everyone as a positive experience. Knowing that you don’t have all the time in the world to spend with them, every chance you get should be worthwhile. Plus, your parents aren’t getting any younger. Each minute you have with them should be nothing short of memorable.
Try your best to set your differences aside. Remember that these holidays and family reunions are a time to reconnect and remain unified.
- Pick up the phone
We’re all busy living our own lives. Some of us just moved and are currently adjusting to a new life somewhere else. Others could be too pre-occupied with work or personal problems. However, you should always make time to pick up the phone and call your parents, siblings or children.
No matter how short or long the call is, it means a lot to the person on the other end of the line for you to have made the time to talk to him or her. So in between those waiting hours or during downtime, just dial that number. You’ll never know what could happen tomorrow or in the next few hours.
- Maximize the Internet
The Internet has become a gift to many families who are far away from each other. It’s given everyone a chance to stay connected wherever one maybe, no matter how far. Plus, technology has gifted us with plenty of applications for us to communicate online with our loved ones. So what do we do? We maximize it.
There’s group chat in apps like Viber. Take this opportunity to leave a message or converse with the family even just through messaging. Apps like Skype and Google Hangouts allow multiple video calls so everyone remains connected. Other apps like Snapchat provides real-time updates that could mean the world to your parents, children or siblings.
What’s also great about using the Internet is that it cuts back on the phone bills big time. Now, you can simply log in and feel like your loved ones aren’t that far anymore.
- Just listen
Many listen with the intent to reply. Take the higher ground by listening with the intent to understand. Sometimes, all our family needs is a shoulder to cry on or a lending ear. All they want is for someone to listen and to know that someone still cares.
Family bonds become strong when everyone knows how to listen. Family is where everyone can express themselves openly, share their insecurities, let them know of good news, and so forth. So just sit back, let the other person talk and just listen. You’d be surprised how communication between your family improves.