If you are currently grieving the loss of a loved one, attending the burial services can help you find that much-needed closure. Participating in memorials and ceremonies help you say your final farewell. At the same time, you can also express your sympathies towards others who also mourn the deceased. In the journey towards healing, it is very helpful to express and share grief with others.
Unfortunately, life can be complicated, and you might end up missing the funeral services. Though this scenario is heartbreaking, if you live a thousand miles away or something crops up like illness, you may end up failing to attend. Whatever your reason, this doesn’t diminish your love for the deceased. But there’s no need to feel guilty over your absence. Remember, there are still many ways to show your grief over the loss and extend support for the other family members left behind. Here are five thoughtful gestures to make in case you miss the services.
Mail a Thoughtful Letter
You can write a thoughtful letter in a sympathy card to show your condolences. First, state your brief regrets for failing to attend. Keep this part short because the focus ought to be on the recipient and not your schedule. Next, write a brief note expressing how you feel towards the deceased. Bereaved family members appreciate seeing how their loved one made an impact on others.
Moreover, your penmanship and personal thoughts are excellent gestures that exhibit how much the deceased and family mean to you. It shows you went the extra mile for them. Your letter tells them that they are in your thoughts. Heartfelt words show your care and concern.
Donate on Behalf of the Deceased
Another touching gesture is making a charitable donation on behalf of the deceased’s memory. You not only honor the person’s memory, but you also show that you are thinking of the family. Even though you missed the funeral, making this donation exemplifies your true feelings.
Notably, most non-profit organizations and charities will notify the next of kin with a card stating your donation in the name of their loved one. It would help to choose a group that reflects the deceased values. For example, if the deceased is an animal lover, you can give it to PETA. In the same token, if the deceased supported a soup kitchen in the past, you can donate there, too.
Fill Out the Virtual Guest Book
Today, funeral homes are keeping up with the digital times. Most of them provide an online guest book together with the obituary. You can do a quick Google search to find out if this applies to your case. If you find one, writing a brief note online will offer comfort for the bereaved. At the same time, your words serve to honor the memory of the one who passed away.
You can share a memory of the deceased, but remember that this is a public portal. Therefore, it would be prudent to filter your stories. Refrain from posting anything too embarrassing or personal. Apart from the grieving family members, everyone on the world wide web can see it if they visit the page.
Provide Comfort Food
Since time immemorial, bringing casseroles or other dishes for the bereaved has been a go-to for supportive family and friends. Send a text and ask if it would be convenient to bring the food on a certain date. If you live far away, you can order online and have it delivered directly. Do take note of the following:
- Food allergies or sensitivities
- Menu preferences
- Dietary restrictions
- Religious limitations
If you’re not sure, you can ask them. Alternatively, you can inquire through a close family member or friend about dietary restrictions if you don’t want to ask directly.
Send a Care Pack
You can shop for gift baskets online to give to the bereaved. This care package lets them know you are thinking of them, and you are sorry for missing the services. Care packages can be anything from grocery items to toiletries.
Another option is sending a gift card to their favorite store so they can personally pick the items they need. The cash value of what you send is not important; but it is the thought that counts. This shows that you are thinking of them during their most difficult period, and you want to make their lives easier with your small but heartfelt gesture.