After the burial services, you will have to deal with sorting through your departed loved one’s belongings. To say this is difficult is an understatement. Usually, the feeling of emptiness sets in after the busyness of the memorials. The absence of your loved one becomes more palpable when you go back to your routine.
When the pain is still raw, the simple process of cleaning and organizing the things left behind can transform into an arduous responsibility. Whether you clean the deceased’s closet, bedroom, or home, it will take its toll on you emotionally. So be sure you are up for the job by staying mentally prepared. To help you out, you can follow these handy tips.
Seek Assistance From Family and Friends
There’s no shame in asking for help. In fact, this should be a joint effort between the immediate family and the close friends of the deceased. This approach is especially helpful if the person did not leave a last will and testament or other instructions regarding personal property. Collaborating with important people allows you to make a communal decision about items with no hurt feelings.
If others are not available and only you can do it, ask your friends to accompany you as you sort through everything. They can give you that much-needed emotional support to help you lighten your burdens. In addition, their objective input can help you decide, especially if you are the type of person who clings to things. With their guidance, it would be easier to assess what to donate, sell, or keep.
Start With a Plan in Place
As the famous quote goes: failing to plan is planning to fail. When you make advance preparations, it can make this tedious process less stressful. Before you even begin, you have to make a firm decision if you will sell or donate what you don’t want to keep.
It would help draft an organizational system for labeling all the items left behind. Keep the category details clear, and make sub-categories as well, especially if you have intended recipients. Finally, make a checklist to ensure you have everything covered. You can also send this to your immediate family, so they will know what went where.
Set a Good Pace
Remember, you don’t have to rush to finish everything. Set a good pace for yourself, allowing you breathing room. Take your time to sort through everything so you won’t feel pressured. No matter how much time has passed after the services, you will still feel the onslaught of pain as you go through your loved one’s belongings.
Most people who engage in this task feel a bevy of overwhelming emotions. Sometimes, you chance upon mementos and sentimental items that make the process more difficult. You may even find yourself crying as memories set in. Hence, it is better to tackle the project in baby steps. If it’s a big place, take it one room at a time. Allow yourself a few weeks or even months to get things done. You are not in a race, so give yourself time to mourn and accomplish this very difficult process.
Learn to Let Things Go
When you sort through your loved one’s personal possessions, you may feel compelled to cling to too many items. It is understandable why you want keepsakes. After all, there’s not wrong with keeping a few tokens for yourself. Just make sure you don’t hoard too many items, especially if you have no room or use for them. You must learn to let go without regrets.
It would help to take pictures of your beloved’s home or room so you can have fond memories to look back to. Keep the photos in a digital album online, or print a photo book for your personal reference. Everyone struggles to let go of things, but don’t allow unnecessary objects to weigh down your life. Besides, it would help to remember that meanings rest in people’s hearts rather than material possessions.
The Final Wrap Up
If you find it difficult to function after the funeral or cremation services, it may be prudent to seek professional help. Though grieving is normal after death, being unable to function and perform daily tasks signifies that intervention is necessary. Do not be afraid to seek counseling or attend group therapy. It will do wonders for yourself if you ask for support to process your emotion. Only then can this task of letting go of things become seamless. It will allow you to heal and move on.