Close friends usually have the privilege of knowing important occasions in their friends’ lives. Apart from the usual birthdays and wedding anniversaries, you are most likely privy to when the death anniversary of your friend’s loved one is. And as a supportive friend, you don’t want to gloss over this occasion even if the topic is painful. After all, the departed loved one is a special part of your friend’s life and may have been a part of yours too at some point in time
As always, you want to be there for your friend no matter what. Even if the loss was just a year ago or more than a decade ago, it’s still tough to recall the death of a loved one. That’s why it’s important to offer bereavement support. As a genuine friend, you can give comfort without being too invasive or pushy. Here are some suggestions to help support a grieving friend who is slated to celebrate the death anniversary of a loved one.
Put a Reminder in Your Calendar
Whether you use a digital app or a paper planner, it’s important to put the death anniversary on your calendar. If you’re using a gadget, set it on repeat annually. You’ll be very glad that you did because important dates can slip off your mind, especially if you’re busy. When you see the reminder, you can do something concrete for your friend, like sending flowers or inviting her for a walk so you can be there in person.
It will surely be a tough day for your friend, so making them know that you’re there through gestures is such a big blessing. It’s important to acknowledge your friend’s grief. Even if the loss happened years ago, the pain is still real because you don’t stop loving a person. Don’t be afraid to mention the loved one’s name and tell your friend you’re thinking of both of them.
Text or Call First Before Doing Anything Major
If you intend to take your friend for a walk, or go to a restaurant, always ask first. You don’t want to be too pushy or persistent. As much as possible, avoid doing something unexpected. Some people still prefer to grieve in silence and solitude, so take that into account. So don’t overwhelm your friend with something very sudden.
Instead of saying something vague, like “let me know what I can do for you?,” opt for something more concrete like “Can I bring you lunch?” or “Can I drop by later and let’s go for a walk?” Being intentional and specific is okay but respect your friend’s boundaries too. Asking shows that you care about their thoughts and your friend will surely appreciate it.
Send a Card with Flowers
You can’t go wrong with sending a card with your friend’s favorite flowers since this combo always brightens up a person’s day. It is one of the most popular funeral traditions. But you can make it extra special by sharing a favorite memory about the deceased in your card. This will make your note a lot more meaningful than just buying a random death anniversary card and signing your name on it.
Plus, having that story in the card will show how much you care. If it’s a sweet memory, it may even make your friend smile on this tough day. Besides, there’s something very comforting about seeing a person’s handwriting. In this digital world where everyone sends a text or online message, getting a traditional card is a lot more poignant. It will show that you made time and put in the effort.
Prepare or Buy a Favorite Meal
Your grieving friend may not feel like cooking so you can cook for them if they agree. You can prepare all the ingredients, and you can talk to each other while you cook the dish in their kitchen. It’s a great way to keep your friend’s mind off painful memories.
Alternatively, you can pick up take-out and leave it with your friend or have something delivered via an app. If your friend doesn’t feel like having company over, sending a nutritious meal will ensure your friend has a bite to eat whenever hunger pangs strike.
Send a Gift Basket of Goodies
When your friend is celebrating a loved one’s anniversary, you can commemorate the event by sending a hearty gift basket. You can order online or make one yourself. Here are some themed basket suggestions:
- Spa set with nail polish and tools
- Chocolate and fruits
- Coffee or tea with cookies
- Crafting basket with art supplies
- Movie night theme with popcorn and candies
Offer to Watch the Kids
If your friend still has young kids, you can offer to watch them by going to their place or bringing the children to your home. This gesture will ensure that your grieving friend has some much-needed alone time to quietly remember memories gone by.
At times, people in mourning want quiet time to think about their deceased loved one. Solitude helps calm the heart. There are so many meaningful things to do in silence like pray, journal, meditate, read, or create photo journals alone. All of these are great activities to calm a grieving heart. And your mourning friend can get that time with your help.
Make a Donation in Memoriam
Finally, you can donate in memory of the deceased on their death anniversary. Many causes need monetary support or donations in kind or service, like homeless shelters, organizations for veterans, orphanages, disability organizations, environmental projects, and so much more.
Whatever you decide, the most important thing here is to do something. Your actions will demonstrate your love and support. Sometimes, even a simple phone call will do wonders in breaking the doldrums of life, especially in a trying time like commemorating the death anniversary of a loved one.