Sometimes, there are no words to say to comfort someone who suffered the loss of a loved one. No matter how much grief support you offer, it won’t make the pain go away or feel any less. The intense emotions that usually come after the death of a person make a lot of people uncomfortable about offering comfort. They feel afraid to say the wrong things.
However, you must not let this discomfort stop you from reaching out to someone who is mourning. Your presence will provide immeasurable comfort. As you prepare to attend the funeral services, here are some conversation starters that could potentially help you stave off the awkward feeling. With these inspiring words, you don’t have to grapple with what to say. You can act naturally and show your deepest condolences and concern.
“I am sorry for your loss.”
This classic line can never go wrong. Although it’s a few simple words, it can express the depth of your sympathies and sincerity. When you’re at a loss over what to say, this simple line can help because it shows that you are acknowledging their loss and recognizing how hard the situation is. Saying this line will show surviving family members that they are not alone. It could make them feel less isolated in their sadness. Remember, don’t fear saying the wrong words to keep you from showing your support.
“I can help. I can do this specific thing for you.”
Many people in mourning often find it difficult to reach out to others for assistance because they don’t want to be a burden. They could also be feeling overwhelmed by the attention they received at the ceremonies. Some simply don’t have the energy to get out of bed and reach out to others. That’s why it’s important to offer help and to be specific about it. You can offer to do the following:
Drop off a meal
Do the laundry
Help with house chores
Take the dog for a walk
Babysit the kids
Pick up grocery
When you say what you can do for them, it will be easier for them to accept your help. This is so much better than saying a blanket, “Call me if you need help.” Furthermore, doing these concrete tasks is an excellent way for you to check how the bereaved are coping.
“You and your family are in my thoughts.”
When a person loses a loved one, they feel intense sadness and isolation. It’s as if no one else can understand the pain and grief. Hence, you must show them that you care by telling them your thoughts are with them and the family. Saying that you’re thinking about them during this trying time provides reassurance and shows that you care. Having someone nearby grieving family members could reach out to is comforting. Knowing someone has your back aids the healing process.
“Call me anytime.”
Always remember that the grief journey varies from person to person, even if they are from the same family. Some people choose to be alone in their thoughts and prefer peace. Meanwhile, others find comfort in having a listening ear. Although a phone call is a small gesture, it reassures them that they have someone willing to hear their thoughts and deal with their intense emotions. Make sure you let the bereaved know that you are ready to talk anytime. These check-ins mean a lot to someone who feels very down.
“I feel blessed to have known him/ her.”
A burial service in the cemetery is often a highly emotional moment. However, you must also remember that this ceremony is a final farewell. It’s a chance for the family members and all the guests to celebrate the life that is lost. And one of the best ways to ensure the deceased person’s legacy lives on is by sharing heart-warming experiences about them and how they touched your life. Every person who attends an end-of-life ceremony holds unique memories with the departed. Remember, if you take time to share these stories, it can make the ceremony more positive. More importantly, it warms the hearts of those very close to the deceased.
“I’m here to listen, anytime.”
When you condole with bereaved family members, it’s not enough to just say that you’re sorry. It’s also important to listen to them because it’s helpful when they have the freedom to express what’s on their minds. Although your presence at the funeral provides a measure of comfort, it’s also important to offer support long after the funeral is done.
In fact, bereaved family members need more help once the memorial services are over. When they get back to their usual routine, that’s when the loss of a loved one feels more palpable. Offer your ears and shoulders for them to cry on. Hold their hand with their permission. Having this support is a big help to aid in their healing. Listening when they engage you in conversation as being fully present in the moment is very comforting for the bereaved.