Under normal circumstances, it already feels awkward and difficult to face a grieving friend. Often, you find yourself grappling to find the right words of comfort. But when you can’t say the words in person because you are thousands of miles away, it becomes even more complex. How do you condole meaningfully when you cannot be in the cemetery because there’s a vast distance separating you and the bereaved?
Fortunately, there are many ways to send your support even if you’re separated by time and space. From sending a simple text message to shipping a carefully curated care package, the most critical part here is to touch base. You need to let your grieving loved ones know you are one with them and think of them even if you are far away. Check out these ideas to help show your love and care even from a distance:
Leverage Tech Innovations
Fortunately, you can stay involved thanks to tech innovations. Digital platforms allow you to support a mourning friend, even if you cannot be there in person. For example, if you know the family will host a memorial service for the deceased, you can join the live stream. Attending virtually is one way to show your TLC.
Alternatively, there are also online obituaries and guest books that allow you to leave a personal message to comfort those in mourning. If you cannot be there personally for the funeral services, staying active and present virtually is one way to offer support in trying times.
Show Your TLC By Sending a Token
Sending a token via courier is another hearty gesture that goes a long way in comforting your friend from across the miles. Although the bereaved usually do not expect anything, surprising them with small gifts is a perfect way to let them know you care. Posting a handwritten card with funeral poems or sending a care package with their favorite goodies will help in cheering them up.
On top of that, you can also send books about healing to serve as their grief counseling resource. Of course, funeral flowers, which are the most traditional gift, also work their magic in brightening up someone’s day. Bear in mind, what you send need not be fancy or expensive. The vital thing is to let your loved one know you have them in your thoughts.
Provide a Safe Space for Sharing
Communication is crucial in long-distance relationships, which include friendships. During difficult times, it may be even more challenging to speak beyond surface-level topics. Thus, as the one reaching out to those in mourning, you must make an even bigger effort to dig deeper and initiate meaningful conversations. Instead of the usual trite “how are you?” ask what they are doing to cope. In the first place, you already know that a friend is not doing okay after the death of a loved one.
Whether you chat over SMS, video chat, email, or speak on the phone, find ways to make your friend most comfortable to share their innermost thoughts. Don’t be too pushy, but make sure they know you are ready to hear their burdens. Though it is not your job to fix their hurt, providing a safe space to talk things out can be very cathartic. It makes a big difference for those in mourning to know that they have someone to turn to, with whom they can openly share their innermost feelings.
Reach Out Frequently
Sending a gift and speaking on the phone are great gestures. However, you must keep in mind that grief doesn’t just end overnight. It is a long, arduous process that takes time. For this reason, it is vital to reach out frequently and keep on checking on your friend as the days go by. Call and send messages. Be the person who actively reaches out.
Often, those in mourning will not take the initiative to call because they fear being a burden and dragging down loved ones with their grief. Therefore, you must check in from time to time. Even brief messages or quick calls show that you’re thinking of them and they’re not alone. Comforting a grieving friend long-distance necessitates checking on them regularly and not just immediately after the funeral. Since grieving is a process, they need continuous support.
Keep Tabs on Important Days
As a close friend, it would be very thoughtful to remember their loved one’s death anniversary. Mark it on your phone calendar and set a reminder. This date will be very difficult for them, so a simple text or a phone call will help in alleviating their pain. This signifies that you genuinely care because you remember the important details, even a year or so later.
Though long-distance friendships can be hard to nurture, it is not impossible. Besides, these friendships are just as important as any other relationship. The time apart doesn’t make it any less meaningful. As a good friend, you must find ways to reach out and shower a grieving friend with love and care. Even if you are not physically present due to illness, travel restrictions, military service, or other limitations, your heartwarming gestures and effort to connect are appreciated. It helps those in mourning know that they are not alone in their time of sorrow.