What is hospice care like (or living with imminent death)?
The journey towards death is a unique path for every person. Others may see their light slowly flickering away in a gradual decline before total darkness. In the meantime, others may find this light shut out abruptly. Either way, death is a hard concept to grapple with because it ends a beautiful life.
However, having a terminally ill family member means you must face the harsh reality of death every single day as you wait for it to come. When death is imminent, you also face insurmountable pressure as the one preparing for the burial services and other practical matters in the background. It can be unnerving, to say the least, to pick the cemetery or urn niches. Above all, facing the thought of a future without your beloved is heartbreaking.
Remember, as death slowly approaches, your role as a family member or friend is to provide constant comfort. Your presence is the best reassurance for your sick loved one. Soothing words and actions can help them find peace amid this very trying time. To help you manage this turbulent season of life, find out more about caring for a terminally ill patient or hospice care below.
What is Hospice Care?
When your beloved’s team of health care professionals evaluate that the patient is most likely to die soon, they recommend switching to hospice care. Usually, when the patient has six months or less to live due to a terminal illness, they recommend more specialized care with a trained team of hospice caregivers and support staff.
The goal is no longer to extend life with healing treatments. Instead, they provide quality care for the terminally ill by making their last days as comfortable as possible. Instead, your loved one will receive medication for pain relief to ensure the patient passes on with dignity. Above all, hospice care offers emotional support for the sick and the close caregivers.
What are the Tell-Tale Signals that Death is Imminent?
When death is very near, you can expect to see different changes in the body. It will help if you learn about these signs so you can prepare yourself. These heartbreaking signs are sadly a normal part of the dying process. Take note of the following:
1) 6 months before death
After receiving the final diagnosis, you may find your terminally ill loved ones prepping for their departure. You can see them organize their files and leave their wishes for you, especially if they’re leaving children behind. Usually, after battling a long-term illness, accepting hospice care comes easy, especially when treatments are no longer working. Most are tired from facing surgeries and other therapies that take their toll on the body and mental health. Some may have a sudden burst of energy and do the last things on their bucket list (body function permitting).
2) 1 to 3 months before death
During this stage, your loved one is likely to spend more time sleeping. The body is just very tired as the organs slowly shut down. You will find that they may eat and drink less due to lack of appetite. The senses of taste and smell are slowly waning away. The patients will withdraw from people and cease hobbies they enjoy because they don’t have the energy. Most likely, they will also speak less. However, children or teens at this stage may end up talking more, often asking a lot of tough questions.
3) A week or two before death
Terminally ill patients feel tired and drained, so they no longer leave their beds. They may struggle to figure out day and night, as their sleep and wake patterns are affected by medicine. You will find that they no longer feel hungry or thirsty. As such, you can also expect less urination and defecation. They may complain of more pain. Often, their blood pressure and heart rates are erratic. It is normal to see the patient looking dazed and confused. You will also notice that the mucus membranes begin to shut down, so the lips crack, and they struggle breathing due to mucus build-up. Breathing towards the end becomes a struggle. They take shallow breaths until they can do no more.
What Can You Do in This Situation?
It is distressing and heartbreaking to see your beloved struggling to breathe. However, remember that this is not painful for the patient. Pain is treated with IV drugs as very sick people struggle swallowing medication. The most important thing in the last few hours is to be physically present. Hold your loved ones’ hands and soothe with gentle touches. Keep your loved one company as he or she transitions to the afterlife.
You must keep the room peaceful. Block out harsh lights and noises as terminally ill patients become extra sensitive. You can play soothing music to calm everyone in the room. Most of all, keep on talking and offering words of comfort. Though your loved one may already drift in and out of consciousness, he or she can still hear you. Hearing is one of the last senses to go. In fact, studies show that comatose people can still hear. As such, constantly whisper loving words to reassure your loved one that you are there giving your unconditional love forever and always.